by Beth Diane Bradley
Women have made many advances in equality over the years, but men will always have an edge when it comes to peeing in the great outdoors.
I just returned from a camping trip with two women that has become an annual tradition. One of the things we like to do is rent a pontoon. And we’ve always felt the need to monitor our beverage intake while on the boat, until the advent of the “Go Girl.”
The “Go Girl” is a female urination device, or “FUD” that allows a girl to pee like a guy … well, almost. It’s made of medical-grade silicone and has a patented splash guard. So Portia bought one to bring on our pontoon ride this year and decided to try it out. It worked. Well at least for her. Lori and I declined the opportunity, but appreciated knowing we had an emergency plan if the need arose.
Other than that, what makes our women’s get away different than the stereotypical male camping trip? I’m thinking less alcohol and more visits to the area gift shops. Just a hunch.
We start planning in the spring, picking out just the right cozy cabin to rent for the night. And there are always discussions about plumbing — okay we’re back to that topic again. Some cabins come with a nice bathroom, just like a hotel, but no kitchen facilities. Others come with a kitchen and an outhouse.
So last year we gave that one a try, after a lengthy discussion about the outhouse — starting with the gross factor, of course. We decided we could tough it out for one night, assuming it was a 5-star biffy with a real toilet seat.
We also figured we’d need to pee in the middle of the night—and were concerned about running into bears on the way to the potty. The consensus was to BYOB – that would be bucket, in this case, and avoid those issues all together.
The fully stocked kitchen was lacking one thing – faucets. I wouldn’t have noticed until I actually needed water, but my friends were more observant. They didn’t say on the website you have to haul water in from the well.
So once was enough for that cabin, and this year we chose one with a bathroom – even if we had to wash dishes in the bathroom sink. You are supposed to cook outside, but we broke the rules and used Portia’s electric grill on the porch.
Between the three of us, we manage to build a fire to roast marshmallows every year for S’mores, which we enjoy with an illegal glass of wine or beer. And so far, we have not been caught for breaking the rules. Probably because the security guard is too busy keeping the bears away from the outhouse at the other cabin — and that was our plan.
After two days of hiking, boating, gift shops and more, it’s over again until the next year. We leave with lots of pictures, a few mosquito bites, some sunburn, and a list of things we should bring next time. Oh, and whatever loot we managed to find at those gift shops, because after all, we hate to leave civilization too far behind.